January 2010
1 post
1 tag
September 11, 1997
Checked the mailbox today. I was surprised, but not really, by the amount of letters I had received. Everybody apparently has something to tell me. N. said I was a terrible friend. M. said I reminded him of a 100 needles from Mom. P. said I talked too much and didn’t give him enough credit. L. said he loves me more and more each day but now he is sick. D. said I complained too much....
December 2009
5 posts
8 tags
September 10, 1997
The last three days have been the best. Loads of stress passed and didn’t even exist. I don’t know what to expect today. I had a funny little experience yesterday and a dream from deep in my sleep last night. Yesterday I went to the town square. I like this place because it’s all paved in bricks with no grass and benches scattered around. There’s a pavilion in the...
3 tags
September 6, 1997
I have been given the next three days off. It’s a punishment mandated by D, a trial to see if I really want to keep working. Really it’s a relief. It doesn’t matter where or why, but it’s here. Today is the first day. I have to stay at the house but formally I will see no clients. This writing is tiring me out now too. I welcome newness, freshness, breath and...
7 tags
September 2, 1997
My voice is the same, well, honestly I haven’t really listened to it, but it feels the same. I feel the same. Although today a little itchy (always itchy!), a little blurry, maybe too hungry, but the same. Oh, and the interested eye, the strictum of yesterday, the look to understand with intensity, a complete failure. I spent most of the day yesterday avoiding eyes actually. There is no...
4 tags
September 1, 1997
D. talked with me today. One of those can I talk to you for a moment talks. I knew it was coming, if I could have avoided it I would have, and now, well I…, ok, so this is the attempt… she said some of the clients (I’m sure it was N.) said my attitude… I can’t face this now! Anyway, I’m suppose to be more HAPPY, say good morning, smile more (that’s my...
4 tags
August 28, 1997
It’s morning. I’m drinking tea I bought in the North, when N. took me on that little trip. It tastes terrible, too watery and too strong all at the same time. I remember drinking it for the first time in the hotel’s garden. N. had already gone out to take care of his business. The tea tasted so good. I sat for hours in the garden, high on caffeine, watching waves of tourists...
May 2009
1 post
1 tag
August 26, 1997
Yesterday was the worst day ever, okay not really ever, but it was pretty horrible. I’m not even sure I want to go all over it again now. But here it is. Somehow I got trapped because I wasn’t even asked, well, the question was there but my answer was not relevant. Anyway, D. had this brilliant idea that we all must go enjoy the great outdoors because it was so beautiful...
April 2009
8 posts
7 tags
August 23, 1997
We had a solar eclipse today. It was totally uneventful.
M. bought some mini ears of corn from the market today, already steamed and ready to eat. I’ve never seen these half sized corns before. Each kernel is the same size as regular corn but the stalk is half sized. They aren’t broken in half, you can see the stalk is finished off by growth and not broken. We are happily eating...
1 tag
August 15, 1997
My head feels so itchy and I’m so tired. This never ends. Everyday I think I can rest but it never stops. So much noise, so much talking, so much attention, I want it all to go away but it’s impossible. I need this work. It all got to continue.
So, yesterday, the thing with M., so wonderful! They had cleared out all the chairs and tables for the reading with cushions and...
August 13, 1997
It’s middle afternoon now. M. and I drank tea in the morning and then after he feels inspired to make his delicious breakfast of eggs and bacon. Yesterday’s brightness diminished a bit. I really was looking forward to quiet tea this morning, alone and not having to animate or move too much.
I realized something today about S….wow, I guess I can’t really say it or...
August 10, 1997
Had a really nice morning with M. Easier now, not so congested feeling. It helps that I didn’t see him all day yesterday, so today when I saw him, we drank tea and had much to talk about. He even made a delicious breakfast of eggs and bacon.
Yesterday, while out with T., after the movie, everybody was standing around talking about how good it was. I could not help but trying to get a...
August 9, 1997
It’s Saturday morning, late of course, drinking tea, two kinds, green from Japan and some type of red bitter leaf tea from Jamaica. Some friend’s of M.’s are here. They brought him a loaf of french bread from the North.
We left D’s house last nite very late. The last ones as usual. All of us sitting on the floor with cushions and blankets, two cats, passing around a...
August 2, 1997
Out of anyone in the world the person I want to stay with the most, see every day and wake up with is S. I think the thing that allows me to actually do this, to want and dream a way of life with him, is precisely because I can’t have it. That’s really, really the best part.
Today’s song loop- I’m a baaaaaad man (sung by Jack Oblivian)
I wrote a very sad letter...
August 1, 1997
I guess M. is moving in today. No more of these quiet mornings, since we have to share the tea pot and all. Why I wasn’t born into a big family, it would make this sharing thing all the more doable. Instead it’s gotta be done like this, pecking away the crystallizing sediment.
I was thinking about staying on here longer, as my visa will allow it, another ninety day segment, on...
2 tags
July 31,1997
Terrific day. Lunch with P. and shopping but only a little bit because of N. It was our first meeting and I didn’t want to be late, but I also didn’t want to be too ready either, so I left P. with only a quick look in the shops mirror and then over. O how I want to break free on a continuos loop in my head. There’s a modicum of mechanics in this whole set, like I’m...