September 10, 1997
The last three days have been the best. Loads of stress passed and didn’t even exist. I don’t know what to expect today. I had a funny little experience yesterday and a dream from deep in my sleep last night. Yesterday I went to the town square. I like this place because it’s all paved in bricks with no grass and benches scattered around. There’s a pavilion in the middle and a few funny little steep roofed buildings around the sides, I think for some kind of ceremony the town has every year. I was sitting on a bench next to an old man who looked like he was asleep. He was well dressed and had a cane resting beside him. He looked quite sad, something about his sleeping face showed a lifetime of seriousness and boredom. While I was looking at him he woke up and turned his head to me. He had tiny coal black eyes that looked directly at me. Suddenly I couldn’t breath. He said, “be happy”, “what?” I said. ”Stop worrying,” he answered. I looked down at the ground, furious. ”Everything will be all right,” he went on, “you just need a little time, and some practice”. I looked up at him, the anger passed, replaced with amazement and wonder. I looked back into his piercing black eyes for just a second and said, “okay”, quickly returning back down to the ground. Who was he to say these things? I don’t know but he did. I heard him very clear. I got up from the bench. I think I told him thank you. He had already fallen back asleep. I want to believe him. His words keep playing in my head loud and direct, like they did when he delivered them.
Then last night, my dream. I woke up in the middle of the night for no reason but to see this dream, to feel it out into waking life. The details are a little fuzzy, but I was with some other people doing a scientific experiment, systematically isolating animal energies. After isolating them we injected them into our own bodies. It was an experiment and also a meditation practice. I had taken in an energy. I felt it blast through my whole body, filling me out all the way to the edges of my skin and maybe a little more, everything felt new and black, all absorbent, and bound by white light. It was really exciting and I woke up.
