August 2, 1997

Out of anyone in the world the person I want to stay with the most, see every day and wake up with is S.  I think the thing that allows me to actually do this, to want and dream a way of life with him, is precisely because I can’t have it.  That’s really, really the best part.

Today’s song loop- I’m a baaaaaad man (sung by Jack Oblivian)

I wrote a very sad letter yesterday to L.  I didn’t intend to reach this conclusion, but after writing it the truth became undeniably clear and so sad.  I couldn’t continue writing, just sent it off with the requisite blessing and love.  

Paid the water bill today.  The tea is good.  M. is still sleeping, he lied about needing only three or four hours of sleep everyday.  He gets more, just like us less evolved humans.  It’s good to see this handwriting again.  It’s been a long time.